Stages of Loss

We completed the chapter on death in Human Growth and Development this morning, and one of the concepts we discussed was that of the stages of loss developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although Kubler-Ross initially related these stages to death, she agreed that they can be applied to many types of loss that people experience. For instance, the break up of a relationship might bring denial, anger, bargaining, and depression before the person finally accepts it and moves on.

Although this theory makes a lot of sense, it isn’t without its critics, some of whom claim that dealing with death and loss isn’t so clear cut. Others say that a person might go straight to depression while another person might get angry and stay that way. In other words, the order of the stages has not been universally accepted.

What do you think of this theory? Have you been in or observed a situation in which the stages were experienced? Was the situation “orderly” in that the stages followed one another in the way Kubler-Ross predicted? In general, just share your impressions and/or experiences related to this theory.

American Women & Health Issues

In General Psychology, we’ve been discussing the exciting field of health psychology, a subfield concerned with the use of psychological principles to help enhance health, prevent illness, diagnose and treat disease, and improve rehabilitation. How can psychologists get people to do the things they need to do to prevent illness? How can they get them to understand that health is much more than the absence of disease? And how can psychologists get people to realize that THEY can engage in behaviors that can either enhance or hurt health?

 

I was pondering those and other issues as I listened to an interview on NPR about health issues in America, especially those affecting women. More specifically, women in disadvantaged positions. The two “problems” under discussion were smoking and obesity, both of which negatively affect overall health and longevity. With smoking, there’s lung cancer and chronic pulmonary disease. With obesity, there’s diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and a myriad of other ailments. Interestingly, two groups have a higher percentage than any other of these two health challenges: the undereducated and those in a lower socioeconomic stratus.  The thought hit me that much of the time, these two groups are one and the same.

 

What can be done about this? Could the diseases be prevented if these women had access to information? Just tell me what you think by reacting to this interview with your observations and experiences.

Beauty or Brains or What?

Lately we’ve been discussing theories of mate and date selection, and I’m curious about your observations and beliefs. From your own experience and from the theories mentioned in your text, what do think brings couples together? Is is homogamy? Is it the equity theory? Do you think men are more into physical appearance than women are and that women care more about financial security?

Your Fruitiness

Although it’s been a few years since I read this story, I shared it with my intro classes and got a great response. Therefore, I decided to share it on the blog and hope that you will respond with your individual “fruitiness.”

 

Leo Buscaglia, prolific writer and motivational speaker, once told a story of something that happened one night in his “love class.” A young woman spoke up and said that she had felt despair most of her life, and she felt it was because she had tried to re-make herself to please the various people in her life. She had, in effect, become a messy fruit salad when her innate nature was that of a peach.

 

Throughout her life, a person might come up to her and say something like, “You’re a cool person, and I think we could become friends. However, I’ve always liked apples. Do you think you could be a little more like an apple for me?” So she did. After all, she wanted a friend. Things were fine until someone else came along and admitted that while she liked apples, she went for Gala apples, not Red Delicious. So what did our friend the peach do? You guessed it; she tried to be a little more Gala-like.

 

A little later, another person sailed into her life and said that while peaches and apples were okay, he preferred the sweetness of bananas. The girl again transformed herself by giving up a little more peachiness. Along came another individual who found all of her fruitiness to be somewhat ordinary, and he preferred something a little more exotic…like a mango. So our peachy friend became more like a mango. That worked fine until another exotic fruit lover declared that he liked kiwis best…so little and so beautiful on the inside.

 

The girl was becoming a little confused about her true nature. Where was the peachy-keen person she used to be? Alas, while she was pondering these questions, a new friend appeared, one who had a real passion for strawberries…little, red, and juicy. Then along came someone else who reminded her that strawberries were a bit seasonal. Why couldn’t she become a plum, rich and colorful?

 

“Who am I?” she wondered. To make matters worse, a couple of citrus fanatics came along and reminded her that a little tart tanginess never hurt anyone. “Be more like an orange,” someone said. “No, grapefruits are better,” said another. “After all, grapefruits are larger and more rare.”

 

When an acquaintance told the girl that she’d always like figs better than any other fruit and hinted that she lose the other fruits and concentrate on being figgy, the former peach finally threw up her hands and said, “That’s it! I’m a peach and I’m sticking to it. From now on, if anyone suggests that I change into a tangerine, date, or watermelon, I’m going to smile and say, “Hey, I’m a peach. Period.” She had realized that if she stuck to her peachiness, sooner or later she’d come across a peach lover or two.

 

What about you? If you were a fruit, what would it be and why? Another question: Have you ever found yourself changing to suit another person? How did it make you feel?