I Remember When….

So many people were willing to share their first memories in class this morning that I decided to recycle a memory post from October, 2007. Here goes:

We’re currently studying memory in PSY 201, and just to make things interesting, I’d like for you to recall your earliest recollection and do some thinking about it.  Psychologists agree that most people are around two and 1/2 or three in their first memory, and that could be because that’s when your hippocampus, which is instrumental in episodic memory,  matured. 

How old were you? Who was there with you? Perhaps more importantly, who wasn’t there who  should have been? What was going on, and what was your role? Were you the center of attention, the big brother or sister,  the pampered one? What emotions were you experiencing? Big question: Do you think this early memory relates to your current lifestyle?

I’ll start. My earliest memory takes place when I was around three years old. My younger brother and I were sitting in the back seat of a car, and my maternal grandmother was in the front. My mother had darted out to a store and was only  going to be gone for a moment. I evidently knew this, but my brother didn’t, and he was quite upset when she walked away from the car. I remember trying to console him…as did my grandmother. Today I still look at myself as the “big sister.” I could provide more details, but that’s enough to get us started. 

Your turn. Please share your first recollection and how it might apply to your current lifestyle or self-image

What Do Men Want???

Have you had a chance to read “The Gender Dance,” a post that’s linked to this site? Since we’ve been discussing the lifelong and pervasive effects of gender on lifestyle, behavior, and personality, I took the opportunity to read it and found it quite thought provoking. It’s a little lengthy, so I chose a few points that were personally meaningful, and I’d love to get your opinions on one, some, or all of them. 

·        Women feel fulfilled and will respond best if they feel cherished, recognized, appreciated and acknowledged for who they are.

·          Men feel fulfilled and respond best when they feel needed and respected, when they believe they have an important role to play-to leave a mark or legacy. If properly developed and encouraged, men will direct their efforts to make their legacy their family.

·          A man who believes a woman is trying to remake him will resist because while she sees her efforts as improving him, he perceives himself as not being good enough or even as a failure.

·          Both men and women who do not feel appreciated will turn outward. If he doesn’t feel good, he gets involved in sports or hobbies that keep him away from home and family. If she doesn’t’ feel appreciated, she will turn to her friends for what she can’t get.

A family member recently said that men need respect more than they need love. “Don’t get me wrong. We want love, but respect is even more important. If we feel that a woman loves us, we’re more inclined to cherish and love her. If, on the other hand, she’s constantly harping on something or nagging us to death or telling us how we need to improve, then we shut down. It’s hard to love someone who’s a shrew…or who doesn’t demonstrate respect.” Is he right? Is that how men feel?

 

What do you think about any of the above statements? What’s your experience been in these issues? What have you learned from watching parents or from relating to the opposite sex?