Harold and Ilene

In Human Growth and Development, we’ve been discussing relationships. Topics include interpersonal attraction, the differences between what’s important to males and females, singlehood, POSSLQ (Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters), marriage, divorce, remarriage, blended families, secrets of a happy marriage, and so forth.  In discussing the D word (divorce), comments were “all over the board.”  Some were saddened by it while others commented that there were occasions when it might be a “necessary evil.” Still others said that there was NEVER a good reason for divorce. A couple of people remarked that America’s high divorce rate was one reason that they preferred the single life.

As the discussion progressed, I recalled a poem by Carol Lynn Pearson that describes a empty but committed marriage. What are your reactions to this poem? Should this couple have thrown in the towel? Or perhaps they should have sought marriage counseling? Do they sound like anyone you know? What would you do in a situation such as this? What you advise a friend who’s in such a relationship?

 TO THE TRUTH:
INVITATION THAT WAS NEVER SENT

Harold and Ilene Bradley
invite you to a garden reception
at t heir home to help them celebrate
fifty years of enduring to the end
even though
the end should have come
after the first year when it became clear
that they did not love each other
or particularly like each other
and had very little in common
and actually brought out the worst in each other
but were
too frightened to cut their losses
and move on.

She
in fact
remarked on their twenty-fifth anniversary
as they were eating seafood
”Do you the think the next twenty-five years
will be as bad as the last twenty-five?”
And indeed they were.

Your presence will be present enough
just as their presence has been
all that
Harold and Ilene
have given to each other these many years.